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    dots Submission Name: Toxicdots

    Author: Kaygrl
    ASL Info:    26/female/Washington
    Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 162/239/241
    Words: 190
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 573
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1034


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    I'm addicted to the poison, I'm reliant on the toxins.
    I feel the way it holds me down, pushes my will, only hanging by a thread.
    I feel the doubts creeping into my mind, saying, "You'll never make it. You'll never survive."
    Truth or not, I continue to go on.
    I keep trying when the days seem so long, so hard- pushing at my nerves.
    Pressing on my heart that lays heavy- like a ton of bricks.
    Part of me wants to keep pushing, but the part that longs to be free- longs to kiss and dance and twirl alone, seems to come to the surface even though I weigh her down.
    Trying to suck the life out of her.
    She keeps knocking on my door, reminding me that I'm not happy here- in this poison world- and I haven't been for years.
    But the poison part of me slams the door in her bright smiling face and reminds me of the high I so heavily desire, even when the high isn't what it used to be.

    Submitted on 2015-09-29 20:26:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's extraordinary, isn't it, how attached to the toxic we are.
    Attachment Theory tells us we are attached to our parents, we need them to survive, so how natural to tranfer our attachment from our parents to the toxic.
    Just as we find it difficult, almost impossble, to criticise our parents, so we find it almost impossible to criticise the toxic.

    To criticise is like criticising our lifeline, our survival instinct rebels against criticism, no matter how toxic. Indeed, we are loyal to our parents and the toxic with all the pride of obedient children.
    | Posted on 2015-09-30 00:00:00 | by Torie | [ Reply to This ]

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