Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Confessions of The Gnatdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyPeriodical
    ASL Info:    18/m/pr
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 288/229/264
    Words: 342
    Class/Type: Prose/Venting
    Total Views: 888
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2103



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConfessions of The Gnatdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've met
    with an insect
    so unusual

    Southern and small like the brittle,
    old lady at the corner
    but what not the like

    they tell of so very little;

    Black beads with minuscule wings
    and one glides up towards me

    The cigarette pressed to my mouth provides me
    a string of smoke to lift it away

    If only the smoke would last longer

    Do me a favor and weave me a sweater
    A scarf, a cape
    A world to take

    My arms rest
    at the back of the bench
    and I imagine the girl he told me about

    wrapped in and around his arms
    in my position

    And in those moments
    I swear his soul must have lit ablaze

    That although the seed of his spirit
    hadn't been watered

    She would instead bathe him in our sun

    Melt his skin with kisses branding him mired

    Like the shredded leaves of fall,
    but set on fire

    I haven't much connection with the holy ghosts of our skies,

    so the source of mine would more than likely die

    After - or even before

    we'd obtain some bonded tie too tight to wear,
    too limited in space and size

    However close as the thrums,
    the beating of the birds and their wings;

    Their nests, their feed

    Their ambition to flee

    Mud washed away with the October rain
    like yesterday

    The earth shook,
    she slipped on her feet and this made the man think at once that
    it wasn't by fault of the weather

    That it was his surface unsteady,
    fluctuating
    Core bubbling,
    magma seething, to seize it was too hot

    I think that
    he feared that
    he would erupt.

    Then and now,
    I dare to wish in such ways
    that I fear my love for someone,
    as well.




    Submitted on 2015-10-24 22:17:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the description of the Nat, it shows creativity. Specifically the part about the Southern brittle old lady. But not so chatty. Except apparently this one had plenty to reveal. As I read the piece it gets more interesting. I had to read it several times to get it all. That was a good thing for me. The tone and the structure and the word usage were all combined in a way that I had to find the flow, but once i did what was revealed was quite a cohesive and again I say creative take on the confessions of a Nat. Thank you for sharing this.
    | Posted on 2015-10-24 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200789

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Records I written by Raphael
    The World written by jjd
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry