Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Confessions of The Gnatdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyPeriodical
    ASL Info:    18/m/pr
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 303/230/267
    Words: 342
    Class/Type: Prose/Venting
    Total Views: 1193
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2103



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConfessions of The Gnatdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've met
    with an insect
    so unusual

    Southern and small like the brittle,
    old lady at the corner
    but what not the like

    they tell of so very little;

    Black beads with minuscule wings
    and one glides up towards me

    The cigarette pressed to my mouth provides me
    a string of smoke to lift it away

    If only the smoke would last longer

    Do me a favor and weave me a sweater
    A scarf, a cape
    A world to take

    My arms rest
    at the back of the bench
    and I imagine the girl he told me about

    wrapped in and around his arms
    in my position

    And in those moments
    I swear his soul must have lit ablaze

    That although the seed of his spirit
    hadn't been watered

    She would instead bathe him in our sun

    Melt his skin with kisses branding him mired

    Like the shredded leaves of fall,
    but set on fire

    I haven't much connection with the holy ghosts of our skies,

    so the source of mine would more than likely die

    After - or even before

    we'd obtain some bonded tie too tight to wear,
    too limited in space and size

    However close as the thrums,
    the beating of the birds and their wings;

    Their nests, their feed

    Their ambition to flee

    Mud washed away with the October rain
    like yesterday

    The earth shook,
    she slipped on her feet and this made the man think at once that
    it wasn't by fault of the weather

    That it was his surface unsteady,
    fluctuating
    Core bubbling,
    magma seething, to seize it was too hot

    I think that
    he feared that
    he would erupt.

    Then and now,
    I dare to wish in such ways
    that I fear my love for someone,
    as well.




    Submitted on 2015-10-24 22:17:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the description of the Nat, it shows creativity. Specifically the part about the Southern brittle old lady. But not so chatty. Except apparently this one had plenty to reveal. As I read the piece it gets more interesting. I had to read it several times to get it all. That was a good thing for me. The tone and the structure and the word usage were all combined in a way that I had to find the flow, but once i did what was revealed was quite a cohesive and again I say creative take on the confessions of a Nat. Thank you for sharing this.
    | Posted on 2015-10-24 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200789

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    This written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry