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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Changedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 230/389/136
    Words: 225
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 927
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1490



    Description:
       Been working on some feelings, not really getting anywhere. I'm being a bit stupid about it.

    Bonus poem that I refuse to try to format on ES: http://saartha.deviantart.com/art/Vulnerable-549647042


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChangedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Rattling together,
    my bones
    call the rain in.

    I run until my lungs
    thrash wildly,
    until my surgery scar
    twists like a puckered mouth.

    To the west, the last
    smear of light. East,
    the rainline.

    I hoard the moment
    like a marble, like all
    other lovely things

    which is to say
    I grieve it, preemptively,
    jealously; which is to say

    my sister, who was once
    more of me
    than me, than my bones
    or the rain,

    who is the deepest shade
    of sky I've ever seen,

    is now the most content
    either of us can hope to be,
    is now
    someone else's marble,
    someone else's smear of light.

    And now, this moment too
    slips into the next, the clouds
    shake out like dogs then
    smooth into night.

    Running past the cattails,
    the ferns and blue wildrye,
    all of us gleaming
    in the lamplight

    I have trouble with this, the way
    each second drags and then
    is suddenly gone,
    like turning a corner

    the way my covetous heart
    is the dog in the manger,
    and the rest of me the ox.

    Nothing to do but head home,
    wring out my hair in the sink.
    Nothing to do but find her
    in the mirror,
    too bright to see.




    Submitted on 2015-10-26 23:59:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I find it odd there are no comments to this as I found it absolutely wonderful.

    Change is a perfect title.
    The process unfolds as such, I loved the genuine and raw talent of this.

    Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2016-06-17 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200794

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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    January 10 07
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