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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Morning.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ParanoidParadox
    ASL Info:    22/m/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 89/90/40
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 414
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1118



    Description:
       It's been a while since I've written something. I think my pen had a different idea of what I was writing than I did.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Morning.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    After a restless night,
    Cradled by uncertainty,
    I wander through these jagged streets.

    This city's fading face
    Is reflected in the downcast eyes
    Of everyone that's passing by.

    All's in disarray.
    Our spirit suffocates.

    Buckling under the weight of
    Every lie and sacrifice
    Made in vain just to get by.

    What does is it take to overcome?
    What does it take to maintain
    In these times of such decay?

    A calloused hand pulls on my leg.

    I am not prepared for the sight
    As I look down to see a child
    A hopeless, hungry, hurt in her eyes.

    She asks me for help.
    I don't know what to do.

    "For, in truth I'm lost like you,
    And I simply fail to see
    How someone as brittle as me
    Could ever be the thing you need,
    But, I think that I can try,
    I will not leave you here to die."

    A calloused hand wraps around mine.







    Submitted on 2015-11-05 09:52:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The title makes this intriguing, usually the morning is a time of renewal, freshness, starting over.

    The restless night alludes to what comes next. The second stanza is really powerful. I really enjoyed that idea of the individual that refuses to look up portraying the face of the entire city as person to person to person creates a united observation. I think that is a really creative way to describe the face of the city, made up of many faces.

    Right in the middle of seeking hope ir at the very least endurance, we fond horrific circumstance, a childs hands, calloused suggesting things I dare not imagine. Though the horror of it is staggering we find the answer to your proposed question, what does it take to overcome, as the speaker takes the Childs hand and changes not just a life but an entire set of perspectives. I am a big believer in the ripple affect. Changing one story for the better is like changing reality itself.

    I found this very well written, very thought provoking, and despite the sadness here I really enjoyed it. I was touched by this story.
    | Posted on 2015-11-05 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


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    9. How could it be improved?
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    12. Does it feel original?



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