Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

tumbling down


Author: She Is Insane
Elite Ratio:    3.21 - 40 /60 /33
Words: 136
Class/Type: Poetry /Being a Teen
Total Views: 1457
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 841



Description:




tumbling down



tumbling down

you realize that placing people on high pedestals
is like king kong falling from the empire state
eventually they tumble down from absurd greatness
you once saw and are left confused
that once a majestic creature,
ruler of the world that’s yours
is nothing but a charlatan
splattered on the street without reign
and you’re free from this fantasy
you made up in your head
of the bed you created
and the love you feigned
because the truth was much too black
and you loved yourself a little less
each day to make room inside your head
of the things that were always wrong with you
so to make someone great
but just like gravity
a tossed apple always falls




Submitted on 2015-11-08 23:21:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I like the visual of King 👑 Kong. It made this have comedic value on a serious note. It changed the tone of anger or judgement into sarcasm or polite observation. It gave another layer to your story.

What goes up must inevitably go back down. There is a line in a song I am diggin these days,

"I touched the sky when my knees hit the ground"

The evaluation of spirit due to humility. Gorgeous.
| Posted on 2015-11-10 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
  I read so many love poems on this site that describe how they're partner is the cure for all that is evil in their world. It comes as no surprise to me that so many of them end in heartache.

Bruce
| Posted on 2015-11-09 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



200823