[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: veiled truthdots

    Author: Alter idem
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 356/27/10
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Story/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 704
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 409


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsveiled truthdots

    years, like mist, reveal familiar beauties,
    the freshness of the newly unforeseen,
    hidden in the diligence of duties
    in obeisance to what has been.
    remember, then, the grace that comes with being
    the harbour each to hold the other's heart,
    yearning for precisely what you're seeing,
    needing what you cannot have apart.

    Submitted on 2015-11-21 06:12:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I think that your nostalgia and story classifications reveal that there are volumes of poetry at large.

    Returning to this: i like the ingrediants you have got going in this, i wish you could just sit down beside me while i explained everything i like about it.

    I like most the way the words are used... the feminine endings to the rhyme/sentences, the being seeing beauties duties etc aid the poems flow and soft lyrical feel
    whereas the points where you want to deliver power are marked with power words, preparing us for something you use short punctuation and a power word....

    Blah blah blah....

    See, what I'm saying is that generally on the right hand side of the page the words are trailing off-
    on the left hand side you're basically feeding us the strongest part of every word. The 2nd short pause remember, then, is strong too, it indicates we are coming to the meat and bones of the poem....it's like a volta in a sonnet....
    And i like that word indicates because your composition here is such a rich transference of feeling.

    As a statement those last two lines are everything, i mean what more could you want.

    I was thinking today for some reason how my spirit just tells me wait. you question that and it just says wait

    and we are small and the universe is big
    and what holds today might not hold tomorrow.

    Calmness needs chaos to run into.
    Just, wait.

    and so what I'm saying is
    it's a beautiful poem.

    Also: now Keith has two comments and i have two comments,
    knot that it's a competition.
    | Posted on 2016-03-16 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      see above:

    'and you should do more'.

    or knot.

    but all that chutney aside: you really do write classically well and i for one would read your stuff - as and when…

    | Posted on 2016-02-17 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
    a treat.
    and worth waiting for.

    i think Pollens has it: the words have been arranged (properly and carefully) for a reason and as a consequence there is proper resonance and the poem has real honesty.

    the form is appropriate to the tone: it rather supports that list of wants that coalesce into that yearning - and the last line is a pure form of punctuation.

    you write well.

    and you should do more.

    Merry Christmas Jx
    | Posted on 2015-12-16 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought, J
    that this had some classic symmetry and calls upon the reader for the full pronunciation of words, once enlisted he or her can fully appreciate the consumate ease wherein you weave your intricacies

    If i was in search of adventure-
    this is the sort of poem
    has you sitting at the edge
    of a forest and a parrot
    lands on your shoulder.

    You must be able to arrange words for a reason.

    I like it for
    all the soul
    it's got.
    | Posted on 2015-12-08 00:00:00 | by Pollens | [ Reply to This ]
      Simple and complete.
    | Posted on 2015-11-24 00:00:00 | by Chelebel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Etiquette written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]