[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: ultra-urban explorationdots

    Author: CrypticBard
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 369/381/227
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1180
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 667


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsultra-urban explorationdots

    peering out this excuse of a window
    a crack, really, into a view less spectacular
    barely catching self from tripping over
    in this bed-sized atrocity of a room
    that costs heaps more than an arm & a leg

    oh, and don't venture out that door, today
    that job you landed wasn't your first choice
    and coffee tastes like something died in it
    no, don't step into the street ever again
    not for a second rate-life-- scraps for mains

    take another look and refocus your lens;
    hey, the smoke isn't that big, after all


    Submitted on 2015-12-27 10:20:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A unique message, I must say.
    Made me re-consider the idea of fleeing to NYC once after graduation. Just to see that sight - to experience the putrid streets of a bustling city with more substance to it than people give credit for.
    To be able to feel that bitterness and know it first-hand - that sense of little quality, that sense of no belonging - then to realize there's more of a spectacle to it once you open your eyes...It's a type of reviewing, reciting - like a paper written by an amateur but plotted by a genius.

    Sometimes, the message inhabits the background, and the details are just distracting.
    | Posted on 2016-01-22 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      I really likes this submission. The first few lines were my favorite, just something about the specific way it was worded I thought was creative or artistic. The view not being that great through a window that disappoints you. Good parallel and literal translation all in one. It was good to read something more straightforward from you. I really like all your posts but I do like so much when a writer changes it up a bit. Even if it is a slight difference it is cool. Thank you for sharing!
    | Posted on 2015-12-27 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]