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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Enjoy the Shadowsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: closetpoet
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 51/106/70
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 500
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 761



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEnjoy the Shadowsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's where we hide
    from ourselves,
    from one another
    blending into darkness
    and it's cold, damp embrace
    caring nothing for us
    this vessel
    allowing our presence
    knowing why we came
    what we expect,
    what we need
    to escape
    from
    we allow ourselves
    respite
    from everyday
    that which we can't admit
    to ourselves or others
    yet somehow
    we're at home
    among the other countless souls
    all lost
    forgotten of themselves
    at least for the moment,
    blackened by fear and regret
    absent of light
    that we need
    to see
    out of the shadows







    Submitted on 2016-01-01 09:33:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      The only negative I can say about this is that the flow threw me a couple of times. Probably my own fault but around the lines

    what we need
    to escape
    from

    and

    absent of light
    that we need
    to see

    to me it broke the mood. The words themselves have a beautiful flowing sweep that compliments the idea of darkness surrounding the reader that, I found myself pulled out of at these points.

    The Blackened line btw, for me was great, I read it as being darkened, losing ones self in the shadows..

    Good write
    | Posted on 2016-01-11 00:00:00 | by Localfreak | [ Reply to This ]
      Respite..... I like this. One word resounds throughout the piece. Grabs your attention and makes you stop and read again. Repeat. I would suggest maybe Stifled by fear..... Instead of blackened. Blackened sounds like a food preparation....." I' ll have it blackened and stirred..."
    | Posted on 2016-01-02 00:00:00 | by Chelebel | [ Reply to This ]


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