Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Enjoy the Shadowsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: closetpoet
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 51/106/70
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 481
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 761



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEnjoy the Shadowsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's where we hide
    from ourselves,
    from one another
    blending into darkness
    and it's cold, damp embrace
    caring nothing for us
    this vessel
    allowing our presence
    knowing why we came
    what we expect,
    what we need
    to escape
    from
    we allow ourselves
    respite
    from everyday
    that which we can't admit
    to ourselves or others
    yet somehow
    we're at home
    among the other countless souls
    all lost
    forgotten of themselves
    at least for the moment,
    blackened by fear and regret
    absent of light
    that we need
    to see
    out of the shadows







    Submitted on 2016-01-01 09:33:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The only negative I can say about this is that the flow threw me a couple of times. Probably my own fault but around the lines

    what we need
    to escape
    from

    and

    absent of light
    that we need
    to see

    to me it broke the mood. The words themselves have a beautiful flowing sweep that compliments the idea of darkness surrounding the reader that, I found myself pulled out of at these points.

    The Blackened line btw, for me was great, I read it as being darkened, losing ones self in the shadows..

    Good write
    | Posted on 2016-01-11 00:00:00 | by Localfreak | [ Reply to This ]
      Respite..... I like this. One word resounds throughout the piece. Grabs your attention and makes you stop and read again. Repeat. I would suggest maybe Stifled by fear..... Instead of blackened. Blackened sounds like a food preparation....." I' ll have it blackened and stirred..."
    | Posted on 2016-01-02 00:00:00 | by Chelebel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    200963

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry