Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: saartha
ASL Info:    27/F/US
Elite Ratio:    4.01 - 230 /393 /145
Words: 66
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 2037
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 442



Listen, there is snow
in the mountains and
rain in the valleys.

You can hear it from here,
everything rolling over
into sleep.

It all
wets down.

I pace the room
like an atom
in an atom bomb

but really, it's all gone
a little mossy

the way a gun looks
in the forest
one hundred years after.

Submitted on 2016-01-16 00:10:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  It rainsandrainsandrainsandrains, and after a while the ball that is not rolling gathers moss.

But moss is soft, and green, and it is both nice to look at as well as to lie on.

Things getting less volatile over time, has its perks


| Posted on 2016-01-21 00:00:00 | by BlankSheet | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?