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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lifes Haikudots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Forgiven
    ASL Info:    38/F/Florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 335/330/93
    Words: 16
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 552
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 118



    Description:
       My try at a Haiku. I would love to see yall...lets do this


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLifes Haikudots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life is a puzzle

    and the pieces are misplaced

    beauty's not entirety





    Submitted on 2016-01-25 16:20:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Denise,

    What you have here is actually a Katauta or a half Sedoka where the line measures are 5-7-7, rather than the 5-7-5 of Haiku or Senryu (which differ only by topics). No matter what you call it, I like the pared down, tight structure, and the thoughtfulness of the the poem and the way that last line just floats there, a bit awkwardly, but totally in line with the theme.
    Life is beautiful, but can anyone say that it is truly complete? This is such a great meditative thought and definitely fits the spirit of the Japanese styles.

    Thank you for sharing this.
    Jan
    | Posted on 2016-01-28 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


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