[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Lifes Haikudots

    Author: Forgiven
    ASL Info:    38/F/Florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 335/330/93
    Words: 16
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 613
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 118

       My try at a Haiku. I would love to see yall...lets do this

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLifes Haikudots

    Life is a puzzle

    and the pieces are misplaced

    beauty's not entirety

    Submitted on 2016-01-25 16:20:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    What you have here is actually a Katauta or a half Sedoka where the line measures are 5-7-7, rather than the 5-7-5 of Haiku or Senryu (which differ only by topics). No matter what you call it, I like the pared down, tight structure, and the thoughtfulness of the the poem and the way that last line just floats there, a bit awkwardly, but totally in line with the theme.
    Life is beautiful, but can anyone say that it is truly complete? This is such a great meditative thought and definitely fits the spirit of the Japanese styles.

    Thank you for sharing this.
    | Posted on 2016-01-28 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Linger written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Fasade written by jackz
    Push written by JanePlane
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer written by layDsayD
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]