Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: People like usdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: OneDarkFlame92
    ASL Info:    23/m/Numeanor
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 455/419/222
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 574
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1541



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPeople like usdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Walking together,
    we were: hand-in-hand.
    In-hand-in-hand.
    They don't make us
    like they did once,
    people like us
    live,
    just a little heavier.

    We see trees a tad greener,
    but the leaves will stay dead,
    well into Summer
    where dying comes close again.
    They don't change much,
    to people like us.
    Who tend to see life
    right before the end.

    Hand-in-hand:
    they don't. . . care.
    People like them,
    people like us.
    We like to give up,
    right before the easy part
    where the tension is gone.
    The belts are loose,
    and we find a loop-hole out,
    because success scares them too much.
    That's how it is for people like. . .us.

    They scare me
    with their care free
    dead-end life philosophy
    and humor in glorified hypocrisy.
    Bunch of nihilists spouting Frankfurt-school and poetry,
    that they know nothing of. . .
    just to undermine thousand year old societies.
    And to what degree goes their wretched irony?
    Or what degree do they hold to speak of things?
    Or what degree is the angle of their backs
    as they inhale what they call "inspiring"?

    I broke away,
    from the people like. . .us.
    I no longer fit the mold.
    For hand-in-hand,
    in-hand-in-hand
    can no longer work
    with the way I now walk




    Submitted on 2016-02-25 00:17:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This kind of reminds me of 'of mice and men' which i find endearing.

    I think that as the poem moves on your segmentations/divisions could use some work but then maybe that's the point, things become confused, like at this site, and people like us move so far away from the people we were, are, wanted to be.

    I saw your journal and that's a bit discouraging. I find in life there is so little you can be in control of, perhaps there's little that's fair- and that's a fair assessment- but when i do slip over to your page for a read i find what i do read encouraging
    or at times i have taken great encouragement from your comment or the sporadic comment of others.

    Essentially i think this site is like a winter garden: gone all to seed, the ground is fertile it just needs a good hoeing.

    In all honesty i miss a more active ethos around here but i don't mind the quiet. Don't mind the quiet- grow what things you will.

    | Posted on 2016-03-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201071

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Bond written by saartha
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Song written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry