Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: People like usdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: OneDarkFlame92
    ASL Info:    23/m/Numeanor
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 455/419/222
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 475
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1541



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPeople like usdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Walking together,
    we were: hand-in-hand.
    In-hand-in-hand.
    They don't make us
    like they did once,
    people like us
    live,
    just a little heavier.

    We see trees a tad greener,
    but the leaves will stay dead,
    well into Summer
    where dying comes close again.
    They don't change much,
    to people like us.
    Who tend to see life
    right before the end.

    Hand-in-hand:
    they don't. . . care.
    People like them,
    people like us.
    We like to give up,
    right before the easy part
    where the tension is gone.
    The belts are loose,
    and we find a loop-hole out,
    because success scares them too much.
    That's how it is for people like. . .us.

    They scare me
    with their care free
    dead-end life philosophy
    and humor in glorified hypocrisy.
    Bunch of nihilists spouting Frankfurt-school and poetry,
    that they know nothing of. . .
    just to undermine thousand year old societies.
    And to what degree goes their wretched irony?
    Or what degree do they hold to speak of things?
    Or what degree is the angle of their backs
    as they inhale what they call "inspiring"?

    I broke away,
    from the people like. . .us.
    I no longer fit the mold.
    For hand-in-hand,
    in-hand-in-hand
    can no longer work
    with the way I now walk




    Submitted on 2016-02-25 00:17:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This kind of reminds me of 'of mice and men' which i find endearing.

    I think that as the poem moves on your segmentations/divisions could use some work but then maybe that's the point, things become confused, like at this site, and people like us move so far away from the people we were, are, wanted to be.

    I saw your journal and that's a bit discouraging. I find in life there is so little you can be in control of, perhaps there's little that's fair- and that's a fair assessment- but when i do slip over to your page for a read i find what i do read encouraging
    or at times i have taken great encouragement from your comment or the sporadic comment of others.

    Essentially i think this site is like a winter garden: gone all to seed, the ground is fertile it just needs a good hoeing.

    In all honesty i miss a more active ethos around here but i don't mind the quiet. Don't mind the quiet- grow what things you will.

    | Posted on 2016-03-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201071

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    prison written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    Carry written by saartha
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The World written by jjd
    Cover written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry