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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hell of adots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hyproglo
    Elite Ratio:    4 - 180/257/152
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 568
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1000



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHell of adots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hell of a place to be when you don't believe in hell
    A sunny day on a cold mountain
    A windy day on a warm beach
    How incomplete that must feel without a demon

    Wrap yourself in a cocoon of chains
    Again and again
    Your favorite phrase...I cant

    The world may turn and spin, but it's never turned me out

    There are so many things I can build upon from here...

    Everyone is on the cusp of seeing me alive.

    Where are you?
    Where are they?

    Maybe your mistake was feeling that today
    Was just like yesterday

    Everyone is on the cusp of living an abundant life.

    Or wrapping themselves in a cocoon...

    Mark my words...there is no devil...there is no hell...there are only choices that conflict with common sense.

    Hell of a thing to smile about the next time you tell your demons hello.






    Submitted on 2016-02-27 23:35:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hey,

    The way you write this reminds me of pieces that I've written in the past, and that alone caught my attention. That being said, while this poem appears like it's all over the place, I know what you're trying to do and that gives it cohesion, at least to me.

    I like the way that you bring back a lot of your devices write before the end. What it's able to do is give this poem an ironic quality.

    "Wrap yourself in a cocoon of chains/
    everyone is on the cusp on living an abundant life,
    or wrapping themselves in a cocoon"

    I very much like that way you delivered this.

    Matt
    | Posted on 2016-02-28 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]


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