My eyes completely blind
My senses dulled depleted
My thoughts a goulash of
How and why it got to this
The darkness in my eyes
The holes in my soul
In my heart from misuse
The blasted lies and bouts of anger
Deprived my light from shinning.
My eyes always filled with salty truths
That I had to become a detective to unveil.
Nobody likes a liar. I can not love one either.
Every car I ever owned was dented or ruined
From Your fists of rage. Every item I cared about
Broken by your hands of rage.
My drywall a hole
I stared at for
to only be patched
for a new renter.
What did I do?
I stared at it until it drove me crazy.
Begged and cried for it to be patched.
Asked for your help kindly.
Asked for your help sternly
Asked for your help begging.
Dropped to my knees and plead
Cried from my heart as it bleed.
Took matters into my own hands.
Covering it with nothingness
That helps. Just so I don't see
And be haunted by it everyday.
A fight out of control leaving deeper
Holes then I can cover or patch.
Once removed the hole still exists.
Years later my memory haunts me.
I can never seem to rid
the images in my memory
The haunting truths
I have seen
the ruined dreams
of you and me.
You tore me down
watched the whole time
Made comments to be strong
as you deceived from behind.
The scenes that nobody saw
just you and me and that was all.
The worst of you left just for me
I'm so fucking glad, lucky me.
Happy anniversary spent crying in the streets.
Yelling at me, controlling Me then leaving me.
Disappeared into the bar to drink away your empty heart.
I looked and looked and you were gone.
Left alone in the middle of the road.
My car blocked in by chains and locks
Now I couldn't leave I was stuck.
Full of such disappointment and rage
Pulled with all my strength
Tapped into my super powers
I bent the chain releasing it.
I wanted to drive away.
Leave you there like you did me
Just as I went to turn the key
You appeared in the window with
Sorry doesn't rid the pain.
Nor does it change
What I did to that chain surprised me.
I bet you watched me.
Unforgiven first year anniversary.
Unforgiven as it eats away at me.
Pulling the verses of love from the pages
You sat and argued with me.
Then why I asked say I'm sorry
If you are just going to justify
And defy love and it's true meaning.
An anniversary should be filled with joy
Not tears because we can't seem to be sincere
And speak from our hearts or accept the truth.
Love is more than forgive me.
In your world my dear,
this is all I have ever known.
Forgive you for your stupidity
But don't ever leave you.
You can leave but I can never
I can only forgive.
I'm done forgiving.
I don't want to anymore.
Our memories are starting to haunt me.
My heart it does not know the difference
Between then and now, it all feels the same.