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What are You, My Love?

Author: lori_tab
ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752 /1517 /481
Words: 149
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1657
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1010


What are You, My Love?

What hands fashion the fibers of foundation and form
But yours, Love

What wisdom has lead with written words and whispers when I have stumbled around wandering like a lost animal
But You, my Shepard, my Love

What parental and eternal pardons when I have stupidly stumbled over my own metaphoric feet, provision when I waste the wealth you bestow, neverending
Filling bags of no bread, with bread

And now,
I stand before you,
Feeling just as ugly
Underneath the thin veil of matrimony
You, my love, sweep close to me
You Romance me
My heart Loves
And You the Lover,
Giver of Gifts
Dote upon me
Every Delight
And Kindness
Like a most cherished Wife

I want to.know you this way
A part of one another
Like the pleasure of our lips embraced in a kiss

Submitted on 2016-04-07 10:24:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I don't really know how to comment on a piece that seems to be about the romantic relationship between you and God. Or maybe that's just my interpretation. It feels strange. But, I can say that your writing, as always, is beautiful, strange, full of mystery and wonder, and slightly seductive. Example:

I want to.know you this way
A part of one another
Like the pleasure of our lips embraced in a kiss
| Posted on 2016-05-07 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
  And here it is; the polished revision.
Ah well, I suppose you wouldn't mind two comments on the same piece, anyway. I like that you were not shy in erasing details that you felt were unnecessary for the final draft, but this feels a little less intimate - a little less loaded with truth and ecstasy.

This comes off as more romantic, much more repetitive than the pre-write, but that could be a result in the manner in which it's divided.
| Posted on 2016-04-09 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]

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