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    dots Submission Name: The Poet & The Painterdots

    Author: C. Starr
    ASL Info:    35/yesplz/State of denial
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 130/196/68
    Words: 406
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 680
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2375

       Written 2015.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Poet & The Painterdots

    I’m a little bit Bukowski baby.
    You’re a little bit Basquiat.
    Warhol & Whitman.
    Poe & Picasso.
    Pollock & Plath.
    Morrison & Matisse.

    You hear the line that means everything.
    I see the mixture of colored chaos that creates it all.
    Can we make it work like art?
    Our combination of creative energy.
    Attached to your infected mind & my black heart.
    I still ask…Who takes the lead Jackson?
    You or me.

    Everything exists here between us.
    I feel warped & wrong, lust & loneliness,
    Sad & sexy, bad & blessed.
    The pleasure seeking pain of a poet.
    The manic self-involved madness of a painter.
    The good & the bad baby.
    We got it all in spades.
    Ramblings in our souls of those who came before.
    Along with knowledge that we’ve both been simple whores.
    Selling our goods for pennies on the dollar.
    Slanging our genius from the asylum door.
    In ripped up t shirts with paint on our hands,
    Hollering…Who wants to see a little more?

    The words…like drying paint, not to be revealed.
    Until complete, ready for mass consumption,
    The inspection by our peers, the jesting or the cheers.
    My verbs like the movement in your mind,
    They are subject to our situation.
    Forming within moments of madness.
    And relative to our relation.

    The wet paint…like poems forming as visions.
    Strung together words like colors struggling to stand out.
    To say something significant.
    To explain our decisions.
    To portray our personalities & reveal our religion.
    These pieces of life put on canvas.
    Just like the words written down which define us.
    And remind us of how we once felt.
    About love or hate,
    Or when we drank for 5 days straight
    And cursed each other’s name.
    I can write about your reasons & you can paint my face till the end of time.
    Still that doesn’t bring us closer to knowing what went wrong or who is right.
    I’m a little Bukowski baby & you’re a little Basquiat.
    Both twisted & beautifully flawed.

    Submitted on 2016-04-23 15:50:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      My favorite stanza in this entire thing is the third one, for reasons that range from "Sad & sexy, bad & blessed" to
    "In ripped up t shirts with paint on our hands,
    Hollering…Who wants to see a little more?"

    The word play is not only clever, but makes perfect sense! Which isn't something so easily found with catchy rhymes. However, there are a couple things in here that I just wanna point out - though not everyone could agree.

    Paragraph 2, line 6 "I still ask…Who takes the lead Jackson?" kinda throws me off because I see no significance in throwing the name Jackson in there, but that could also be because I don't know what you're referring to.
    Then, at the last couple lines, it takes this turn that reminds me of a logarithm; just moving to the side so that the growth can end, rather than growing exponentially. The rhyme scheme just sorta died along the lines, like that awkward phase between evening and night where you can't discern between black and blue.
    I wish it'd ended a little more consistently.
    | Posted on 2016-05-14 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]

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