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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tiger Cages of Vietnamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 41
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 291



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTiger Cages of Vietnamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Before my eyes, a mahogany sunrise.
    Twiddled piece of her golden lock,
    the names of dispatched friends,
    buried beneath the rock and sand.
    Whittled piece of worthless life,
    carved in the Tiger Cages
    of Vietnam nightmares,
    flesh, wit and will.




    Submitted on 2016-04-28 19:59:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Brwnsknsam05 do I need to break down each line?

    Sunrise in Vietnam
    A lock of hair of someone he loves
    Dead friends,
    buried beneath the ground
    His own existence cut down to nothing
    Made that way through torture
    Only thing left is body, mind and the will to live.


    Now, do you want to tell me why you are that dense, as to not pick that up?
    | Posted on 2016-06-26 00:00:00 | by HisNameIsNoMore | [ Reply to This ]
      Though each image is thought provoking the exact "meaning" or "direction" of the poem is lost with a jumble of images. If "Tiger Cages of Vietnam" is the title that you are going with then where is the imagery of Vietnam? The beautiful women there with dark hair? The old world feel? What the sunrise and sunset hold? What are you trying to tell by completing this piece? Maybe go back and revisit it and make these changes so that it makes more sense then images just thrown on a piece of paper.
    | Posted on 2016-05-30 00:00:00 | by Brwnsknsam05 | [ Reply to This ]


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