Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tiger Cages of Vietnamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 41
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 691
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 291



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTiger Cages of Vietnamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Before my eyes, a mahogany sunrise.
    Twiddled piece of her golden lock,
    the names of dispatched friends,
    buried beneath the rock and sand.
    Whittled piece of worthless life,
    carved in the Tiger Cages
    of Vietnam nightmares,
    flesh, wit and will.




    Submitted on 2016-04-28 19:59:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Brwnsknsam05 do I need to break down each line?

    Sunrise in Vietnam
    A lock of hair of someone he loves
    Dead friends,
    buried beneath the ground
    His own existence cut down to nothing
    Made that way through torture
    Only thing left is body, mind and the will to live.


    Now, do you want to tell me why you are that dense, as to not pick that up?
    | Posted on 2016-06-26 00:00:00 | by HisNameIsNoMore | [ Reply to This ]
      Though each image is thought provoking the exact "meaning" or "direction" of the poem is lost with a jumble of images. If "Tiger Cages of Vietnam" is the title that you are going with then where is the imagery of Vietnam? The beautiful women there with dark hair? The old world feel? What the sunrise and sunset hold? What are you trying to tell by completing this piece? Maybe go back and revisit it and make these changes so that it makes more sense then images just thrown on a piece of paper.
    | Posted on 2016-05-30 00:00:00 | by Brwnsknsam05 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201236

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Yes written by poetotoe
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Records I written by Raphael
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry