Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Decade Past


Author: DaRaven391
Elite Ratio:    0.52 - 0 /1 /1
Words: 185
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 897
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1000



Description:




Decade Past



times have changed and a decade past. Gone so far gone so fast,

take time to breathe, step and see, everythings gone and changed around me, thought that was life, but it must be great, my life that changed, truly my fate,

a fate for the lost, a fate for the few, the rate i was going, well everyone knew. A decade has past, and gone to fast, if only i can hold it, forever it would last.

Thank you to myself for what i have left, a life of thrills chills ghetto pills, up the streets and down the hills. No more fears over who's over there, not needing to know who needs to feared... No more punk ghetto street running flipper, gold tripping diamond dealing back ally pusher.

The pain that was once is all but gone, and left with a rainbow that will not go away, My pain saved my life, and an angel was born. No need to reflect... look back or mourn...

Original Poetry DaRaven

Now DaRaven391




Submitted on 2016-05-13 19:35:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  The insight you've given us here is astonishing. The refreshing form of optimism that this beholds gratifyingly fails to cling onto expectations, whether realistic or not.
There is a disregard to the unfortunate past that anyone - including myself - could derive even the slightest bit of pleasure from.

I'd advise you to work on your phrasing (e.g. punk ghetto street...[Maybe stick to one type of adjective in a situation like this?]) and grammar (e.g. something's, too instead of to and passed rather than past), but anything else is a matter of taste, I think. Overall, I am pleased with its message, and in addition I have taken more from it than what is plain to see.
| Posted on 2016-06-03 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



201277