Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Decade Pastdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaRaven391
    Elite Ratio:    0.52 - 0/1/1
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 432
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1000



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDecade Pastdots
    -------------------------------------------


    times have changed and a decade past. Gone so far gone so fast,

    take time to breathe, step and see, everythings gone and changed around me, thought that was life, but it must be great, my life that changed, truly my fate,

    a fate for the lost, a fate for the few, the rate i was going, well everyone knew. A decade has past, and gone to fast, if only i can hold it, forever it would last.

    Thank you to myself for what i have left, a life of thrills chills ghetto pills, up the streets and down the hills. No more fears over who's over there, not needing to know who needs to feared... No more punk ghetto street running flipper, gold tripping diamond dealing back ally pusher.

    The pain that was once is all but gone, and left with a rainbow that will not go away, My pain saved my life, and an angel was born. No need to reflect... look back or mourn...

    Original Poetry DaRaven

    Now DaRaven391




    Submitted on 2016-05-13 19:35:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The insight you've given us here is astonishing. The refreshing form of optimism that this beholds gratifyingly fails to cling onto expectations, whether realistic or not.
    There is a disregard to the unfortunate past that anyone - including myself - could derive even the slightest bit of pleasure from.

    I'd advise you to work on your phrasing (e.g. punk ghetto street...[Maybe stick to one type of adjective in a situation like this?]) and grammar (e.g. something's, too instead of to and passed rather than past), but anything else is a matter of taste, I think. Overall, I am pleased with its message, and in addition I have taken more from it than what is plain to see.
    | Posted on 2016-06-03 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201277

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry