Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Someday's Tomorrowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rhythmal
    Elite Ratio:    2.41 - 29/50/46
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 749
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 463



    Description:
       I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the flow of this one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSomeday's Tomorrowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    These trees will burn and fall away
    And God won't shed a tear
    The seas will rise and the earth will die
    Not tomorrow or today
    Though we've yet to see or hear their calls
    Their laughter, or their cries
    Our children and their own for sure
    Will bear the weight of our disgrace and fall
    And have this and not much more;
    The sky above, the sea below,
    And the raft on which they lie.




    Submitted on 2016-05-14 13:07:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't know how I feel about it either, but I do know that this is the only poem that I've read on this site approaching the topic of climate change/everything that revolves around it.
    So, although the rhyme scheme is a little off when it comes to structure, I think that, when spoken aloud, this poem can make a great impact on the audience. Now, would it make an even greater impact with a little change? Depends on how you revise it. I think it's worth a try, but all-in-all it's worth the read and definitely worth understanding.
    | Posted on 2016-05-23 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201282

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    prison written by ShyOne
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry