Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Struggledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TeslaKoyal
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 19/66/84
    Words: 577
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 750
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3749



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Struggledots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm just an accident waiting to
    I'm just an accident waiting to

    All my life I've been pushed around
    Been told what to do, how to live, not to make a sound
    I can still hear them telling me "You're worthless, you're worthless go kill yourself"

    Let me live inside of what I've known
    There is no happiness, the forecast has always shown
    The fear that I'm just the biggest mistake
    Now let me prepare for the mental earthquake

    On the sidelines I lie with my head in the dirt
    While they all laugh at me and continue to hurt
    How can anyone live like that
    They say terrible things as they tear me apart
    Ripping me open and killing my still beating heart
    How can anyone live like that

    But then it all hit me suddenly

    I'm a human being
    I have a fucking soul
    They tried to break me down
    But I'm the one who's in control
    Nobody owns me
    I'm not your fucking property
    So I'll take your invisible chains
    And dispose of them properly

    I'm just an accident waiting to
    I'm just an accident waiting to

    All I ever do is fuck up everything
    Why can't I do anything right
    No, I don't shake hands 'cause I don't wanna be touched
    But I'm so messed up so why don't we just fuck

    I'm so broken and nothing can fix me
    There is no hope, there is no fucking hope for me
    Should I die, should I fade away
    Since I'm just an accident waiting to
    I'm just an accident waiting to

    With a blade in my hand I start hurting myself
    While my thoughts are obscene and I don't need your help
    How can anyone live like that
    The burns and the bruises, the cuts and the gashes
    All alone in the dark as my heart turns to ashes
    How can anyone live like that

    But then it all hit me suddenly

    I'm a human being
    I have a fucking soul
    They tried to break me down
    But I'm the one who's in control
    Nobody owns me
    I'm not your fucking property
    So I'll take your invisible chains
    And dispose of them properly

    Throw me, throw me, just throw me away
    I have no purpose, just use me abuse me
    Throw me, throw me, just throw me away
    I have no meaning, just beat me defeat me
    Throw me, throw me, just throw me away
    I have no purpose, just use me abuse me
    Throw me, throw me, just throw me away
    I have no meaning, just beat me defeat me

    And I'm an accident waiting to
    Just an accident waiting to
    I'm just an accident waiting to
    A fucking accident waiting to

    I'm a human being
    I have a fucking soul
    They tried to break me down
    But I'm the one who's in control
    Nobody owns me
    I'm not your fucking property
    So I'll take your invisible chains
    And dispose of them properly

    I'm a human being
    I have a fucking soul
    They tried to break me down
    But I'm the one who's in control
    Nobody owns me
    I'm not your fucking property
    So I'll take your invisible chains
    And dispose of them properly

    But I'm an accident waiting to
    I'm just an accident waiting to
    I'm an accident waiting to
    Just an accident waiting to




    Submitted on 2016-05-22 11:55:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Being able to relate to this piece it really moved me, so often in these feelings and these events we feel alone and to read such a strong piece that speaks not only to you but about you is like a breath of fresh air. I loved the repeating lines :
    "I'm a human being
    I have a fucking soul
    They tried to break me down
    But I'm the one who's in control
    Nobody owns me
    I'm not your fucking property
    So I'll take your invisible chains
    And dispose of them properly"

    Such power behind those words, even if sometimes they have to be nearly a chant you repeat to yourself to keep your resolve and understanding that you are a person too and you deserve better.

    This was a very well done piece, and I agree with kase, it would make an excellent song with it's flow and cadence. Great work.
    S.A.M.
    | Posted on 2016-07-06 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      This is clearly a song? Ive written a couple pieces that turned into song lyrics and u have alot of parts in here that i really liked.

    I'm not your fucking property
    So I'll take your invisible chains
    And dispose of them properly

    Those were my favorite lines. There were a bunch more but im too lazy to copy and paste.

    Really wished you woulda ended the last "accident waiting to" with "happen" since you repeated it many times i was kinda expecting you ti close with it as the full sentence but oh well. Hopefully if this is all nonfictionally inspired youve overcome these demons cause other people's words should never be motive to hurt oneself. Take care.

    Kase
    | Posted on 2016-05-24 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201295

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    prison written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    Carry written by saartha
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The World written by jjd
    Cover written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry