Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Born of Thisdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brwnsknsam05
    ASL Info:    32/F/ Cuba
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 399/440/103
    Words: 211
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1013
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1278



    Description:
       Remembering my days and nights in war...remembering those that others don't seem to want to because it's too hard to understand why they are gone.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBorn of Thisdots
    -------------------------------------------


    4:30 am always comes too soon
    The creak of the tin floor comes too soon
    The cool air a beckoning lover
    Make shift bed made and cot stored
    Stretch like the black cat on the street
    Back bowing and bones crackling
    Another day of this heat
    Another camel spider hides in my boot

    Sit on the trunk and lace up the snakes
    Tuck the laces inside the head and stare
    Stare straight ahead out of my makeshift window
    Dream a daydream of green grass and crystal waters
    Block out the dry earth and barren lands
    Out of hell this place had to be birthed I think some nights
    Out of the mouth of demons this weather must come

    Siren calls wake the base
    She beckons to let us know of impeding danger
    Boots laced, top zipped, belt tightened..Kevlar in place
    Running for the door... eyes burned by the sun
    M16 slung against my back
    “KABOOM” another bomb; another 100 lives taken here today
    The siren continues to call

    M16 held up by boots at the ready and dog tags dangle
    I say good bye to another friend
    I welcome the camel spider in my boot
    And wish to sleep in
    4:30 is too early




    Submitted on 2016-05-30 03:26:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A close friend of mine spent over a year in Iraq (late 2003-early 2005). The stories he brought back were incredible. Sadness, happiness - and a wide spectrum of other human qualities were mixed into his stories (too many to list and to comment on). He was in the National Guard - and not a career soldier. For all intents and purposes...he was an accountant for UPS. A good friend, a good father, and a good husband. He was also a good soldier...he kept the men/women under him safe...and he held them together. While he made no mention of tales of bravery...just being there was a sign of bravery. When he got home...I thanked him for being there - regardless of the political aspects of being in Iraq, I thanked him for his service to our country. And now, I thank you for your service to our country. You are a soldier, and because of you (and others like you), I can write poetry, say what I'm thinking, and I have many other freedoms that, quite frankly, I take for granted.

    In any case, I enjoyed reading this piece...

    Thank you for sharing,

    K
    | Posted on 2016-07-24 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]
      Awesome write my friend. What could be more crazy than to go to the other side of the world for such as this? Again, well done.

    Lloyd
    | Posted on 2016-07-01 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201305

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    an explanation of how i was not good written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Instances written by hyproglo
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    Saying it to you with some gangsta shit written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry