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In Love


Author: lori_tab
ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752 /1517 /481
Words: 25
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1705
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 177



Description:




In Love



We worship one another,
Delicate praises on our lips
Subtle sweetness mixed with morning breath
As music pours from the swiftness beneath the sheets




Submitted on 2016-06-02 13:40:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I liked this lori, like i questioned the addition of morning breath and pours because of you replace the p in pours with an s you get....

Well, that made me wonder whether you could show us morning rather than name morning but actually i feel wretched and mean spirited mentioning those nitpicks when the first two lines are sublime and
there's all the sibilance from those s'es

I thought it was white (approaching pure) and sweet.
| Posted on 2016-06-07 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


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