Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 25
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 824
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 177



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    We worship one another,
    Delicate praises on our lips
    Subtle sweetness mixed with morning breath
    As music pours from the swiftness beneath the sheets




    Submitted on 2016-06-02 13:40:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this lori, like i questioned the addition of morning breath and pours because of you replace the p in pours with an s you get....

    Well, that made me wonder whether you could show us morning rather than name morning but actually i feel wretched and mean spirited mentioning those nitpicks when the first two lines are sublime and
    there's all the sibilance from those s'es

    I thought it was white (approaching pure) and sweet.
    | Posted on 2016-06-07 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201314

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To written by SavedDragon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Promise written by annie0888
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Push written by JanePlane
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    untitled written by Chelebel
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry