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    dots Submission Name: Beneath the Pines dots

    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 614
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 823


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    dotsBeneath the Pines dots

    The sky sighed a distant thunder,
    concrete clouds of dreary color;
    Winter echoed caution to Spring, to sunder
    hope of a promising Summer.
    Wind lambasted evergreen paradise,
    canopied a needled night sky,
    hiding crime, fear, suicide;
    lovers woodnote,
    hunters stalking paths learned by childhood rote.
    All journeys end the same,
    no matter the fable; no matter the moral,
    where time sails still in the saline sea;
    where time survives the brutal boreal.
    The taiga birthed a tireless desperation,
    bitten flesh of blackened frost;
    token effigies whittled in contemplation of
    jackpine, poplar, white birch and tamarack.
    Nothing knows but the tundra,
    who is beneath the pines,
    consumed by the umbra.

    Submitted on 2016-06-18 02:28:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      As dark as this is, it is solid. A very powerful write, capturing the cold earthy dampness, the reality that lies before us all. Great imagery! Nice work here.
    | Posted on 2016-08-20 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      What is THIS? A refreshing bit of talent, a poet capable of stitching words together artfully. Masterfully. You have a way with words, and I like it.

    The rhythm, perfect. The rhyme flowed naturally.

    | Posted on 2016-07-09 00:00:00 | by redthewitch | [ Reply to This ]
      This is outstanding. I was really impressed with your ability for such complimentary range in your portrait of expression.
    It is easily a favorite. Word choice and format were lovers holding hands, this was like a jigsaw puzzle with unique pieces and yet fitting together so perfectly as to form a big picture. It reveals that you are a great writer. As well as being awesome in particular on notes I just personally enjoy personification and anything where trees are named individually. Im weird that way.
    | Posted on 2016-06-25 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

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