Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 230/384/131
    Words: 293
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 858
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1154



    Description:
       Going through kind of a phase right now with conversational poetry, after reading Marilyn Krysl's Diana Lucifera.

    Is that what you call this type? Conversational? I don't know. Anyway, bear with me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Here's the bad news:
    tomorrow
    there will be a bird
    on your doorstep.
    Dead or dying, you think
    it has something to do
    with me. It does not.

    There's the crux
    you always think
    the bird should rise up
    and proclaim its killer,
    its savior, should point out
    which cat only watched and which
    opened its mouth; which cat
    is not a cat but a storm
    or a window or another bird

    and to be honest,
    I would like these things too.

    But it owes us only its death,
    incapable of shaming
    our compulsive involvement,
    our need to make the bird
    about ourselves.

    You want to be jury
    in an empty room. You want
    to hold court
    for every little thing
    that makes you feel.



    The good news:
    walking in the woods,
    there were no birds left alive,
    not one.




    Submitted on 2016-06-18 19:29:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem has a quiet way of encapsulating a very specific tic in the human condition. It calls forth our unreasonable (presented by The Masses as Highly Necessary and Reasonable) desire to put our own stamp on everything; to file, classify, personify; to stake a claim, plant a flag, dig a well on any thing we ascribe meaning to.

    I think you must read Alan Watts, and maybe study Zen. Your words are infused with a subtle humility, and yet a pervasive desire to persuade the reader to separate words from meanings, and meanings from pseudo-meanings.

    This is life, and while it sounds soft and surreal, truly it is monumental; large and all-encompassing.

    You want to be jury
    in an empty room. You want
    to hold court
    for every little thing
    that makes you feel.

    Yes, YES! this is exultant, lovely, and true as the skeleton under the skin.

    Your last clause though, makes me wonder what you mean.

    :)

    Erin



    | Posted on 2016-09-04 00:00:00 | by BlankSheet | [ Reply to This ]
      It's always a treat when you post.
    | Posted on 2016-07-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201339

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    You read free written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Every..... written by jackz
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry