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    dots Submission Name: Rightdots

    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 230/384/131
    Words: 293
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 858
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1154

       Going through kind of a phase right now with conversational poetry, after reading Marilyn Krysl's Diana Lucifera.

    Is that what you call this type? Conversational? I don't know. Anyway, bear with me.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Here's the bad news:
    there will be a bird
    on your doorstep.
    Dead or dying, you think
    it has something to do
    with me. It does not.

    There's the crux
    you always think
    the bird should rise up
    and proclaim its killer,
    its savior, should point out
    which cat only watched and which
    opened its mouth; which cat
    is not a cat but a storm
    or a window or another bird

    and to be honest,
    I would like these things too.

    But it owes us only its death,
    incapable of shaming
    our compulsive involvement,
    our need to make the bird
    about ourselves.

    You want to be jury
    in an empty room. You want
    to hold court
    for every little thing
    that makes you feel.

    The good news:
    walking in the woods,
    there were no birds left alive,
    not one.

    Submitted on 2016-06-18 19:29:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      This poem has a quiet way of encapsulating a very specific tic in the human condition. It calls forth our unreasonable (presented by The Masses as Highly Necessary and Reasonable) desire to put our own stamp on everything; to file, classify, personify; to stake a claim, plant a flag, dig a well on any thing we ascribe meaning to.

    I think you must read Alan Watts, and maybe study Zen. Your words are infused with a subtle humility, and yet a pervasive desire to persuade the reader to separate words from meanings, and meanings from pseudo-meanings.

    This is life, and while it sounds soft and surreal, truly it is monumental; large and all-encompassing.

    You want to be jury
    in an empty room. You want
    to hold court
    for every little thing
    that makes you feel.

    Yes, YES! this is exultant, lovely, and true as the skeleton under the skin.

    Your last clause though, makes me wonder what you mean.



    | Posted on 2016-09-04 00:00:00 | by BlankSheet | [ Reply to This ]
      It's always a treat when you post.
    | Posted on 2016-07-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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