Lost Stars
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Description:
Lost Stars
Accustomed to loneliness Devoid of the pain Living in your vacuum No longer placing blame Longing to find my truth Why can't there be a reason For the ache that fills my heart Through each and every season Two lost souls trying to make it right If only our hearts could synchronize their beat Two lost stars colliding in the night If ever our eyes were to finally meet You looked for me before Uncertain if I did exist Always incomplete was the puzzle Hoping to find the piece you missed I dreamed of you so often In the back of my mind, I knew My search would surely find its end Cause my love for you is true Two stars collided in the night Now nothing will pull us apart Igniting a spark to shine so bright You and I, forever in each others heart |
Submitted on 2016-06-20 12:23:12 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| I like where this goes and the feel of it but I think it could do more by having less. Many words are unnecessary and actually kind of stall the feeling. I'm talking of words such as "the" "your" "my" "a" "that" "and" and so on. Take a little poetic license, it's more about how it feels than whether it is complete. Give the reader some credit that they can fill in some things. At the same time, for me it helps to keep a consistent rhythm unless a shift is evident. Same for rhyme. Stars and love naturally go together so there is innate strength here. Solid start but could use a little massaging. Lloyd | Posted on 2016-07-17 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ] | very very good | A accustomed alone I'm devoid of the pain Living in your vacuum No longer placing blame. Longing to find our truths Why can't there be a reason For holes that fills our hearts Through too and every season. Two lost souls who make it right our hearts too synchronize the beat Two lost stars colliding in this night If ever our eyes were to finally meet. You looked for me before I was born Uncertain if you did exist and create Always incomplete was the puzzle Hope to find the piece you miss. I do dream of you so, so often Thee back of my mind, I knew My search would surely its end Because my love for you is true. Stars that collided in the night Know nothing will pull us apart Igniting a spark to shine so bright You and I stars shine in each heart. | Posted on 2016-06-24 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ] | |
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