Lost Stars -------------------------------------------
Accustomed to loneliness
Devoid of the pain
Living in your vacuum
No longer placing blame
Longing to find my truth
Why can't there be a reason
For the ache that fills my heart
Through each and every season
Two lost souls trying to make it right
If only our hearts could synchronize their beat
Two lost stars colliding in the night
If ever our eyes were to finally meet
You looked for me before
Uncertain if I did exist
Always incomplete was the puzzle
Hoping to find the piece you missed
I dreamed of you so often
In the back of my mind, I knew
My search would surely find its end
Cause my love for you is true
Two stars collided in the night
Now nothing will pull us apart
Igniting a spark to shine so bright
You and I, forever in each others heart
I like where this goes and the feel of it but I think it could do more by having less. Many words are unnecessary and actually kind of stall the feeling. I'm talking of words such as "the" "your" "my" "a" "that" "and" and so on. Take a little poetic license, it's more about how it feels than whether it is complete. Give the reader some credit that they can fill in some things.
At the same time, for me it helps to keep a consistent rhythm unless a shift is evident. Same for rhyme.
Stars and love naturally go together so there is innate strength here. Solid start but could use a little massaging.
Submission Name: Lost Stars
