Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Questioning Veggiesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chelebel
    Elite Ratio:    2.07 - 48/165/170
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 578
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 397



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsQuestioning Veggiesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Where's the carrots
    When the peas
    Are on their knees?


    Where's the peas
    When the carrots
    Have nowhere to be?


    Where's the carrots
    When the peas
    Don't believe?


    Where's the peas
    When the carrots
    Make their plea?








    Submitted on 2016-07-05 01:08:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Something about this little write caught my eye. It would seem to me that there is a story here...and maybe it's not just about peas and carrots. Maybe.

    I would be very interested in knowing what your muse (or muses) was/(were) for your poem. Would you care to share? I always find it very interesting when a hear about what inspires other poets to create...

    As for critiquing your work...I would only say this (and it is a preference thing). Why not lower case the start of the third line of each verse? Since the second line leads into the third line as a complete sentence, it would just seem to flow better. Again, just my IMO.

    Thanks for sharing,

    K
    | Posted on 2016-07-10 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201381

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The World written by jjd
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry