Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Tidal Wave

Author: Narna
Elite Ratio:    1.7 - 14 /105 /72
Words: 64
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1682
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 450


Tidal Wave

Up here, watching the horizon;
a shifting water colour vision, that
clears my muddled mind.
Down there, the sea erodes sandstone,
and fate
is washed away.
with the last glimmer of daylight.
As darkness falls, and
stars pinprick the night sky,
So do I.
Lightning strikes the edge of the earth.
Your silhouette, now luminous,
begs me to look up.

Submitted on 2016-07-06 02:27:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I see someone painting an ocean scene thinking about a relationship that is only prevalent in memory. This image for me really compliments what you have written. It is a fluidity of creation, in words and picture. More than if you were just describing a natural scene. There is power in the concept of participating with reality and that is what this piece said to me.

| Posted on 2016-08-25 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
  My only suggestion is that it needs a title. The heart of the write lies within it. Otherwise, an enjoyable read.
| Posted on 2016-07-08 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  Ah yes, twilight revelations. Those moments between the moments when your mind can see so clearly, but yet it appears to be chaotic and puzzling.

Fun to watch the sun set...and see the stars pop out each night. Hard to not look up and wonder, "What If"? Makes you think...and appreciate (IMO).

And yet, there is more to this bit of writing than just wondering at the stars. Much more...

A bit of mystery...and the readers want to see more.

Thank you for sharing,


| Posted on 2016-07-06 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?