Description: i wrote this a while ago... it's about my past,present, or fantasy relationships... i deleted one part so as not to offend anyone... let me know if you'd like to read the full version ...
oh well -------------------------------------------
maybe I asked too much
maybe i didn't ask enough
maybe i went too far
maybe i didn't push hard enough
maybe she isn't there
maybe i ignored her
maybe i didn't care
maybe i adored her
maybe she doesn't exist
maybe she already passed away
maybe she's here for the night
maybe she doesn't want to stay
maybe she's just a dream
maybe she's on her way home
maybe she's not all that she seems
maybe i'm not alone
maybe she's crazy
maybe she was wrong
maybe i'm just too lazy
maybe my heart will go on
maybe she's feeling sad
maybe she's hard to keep
maybe she's the best i've never had
maybe i'll just go back to sleep
Hmm... the maybe does get old, but I see the purpse it serves. The title of the poem doesn't really seem to fit. I mean, why would you wonder oll of this if you didn't even care?
maybe you could start each stanza off like this : Maybe she's feeling sad so hard to keep the best I've never had maybe I'll just go back to sleep, what I am saying is back the maybes off to the first line of your stanzas only and your closing line, if that doesn't do the trick try expressing your feelings a little more with imagery
I agree with webmaster... not much here of poetic value, unless poetry was intended to provide our hmo with profits on migraine meds... "maybe" is wayyyy over bearing and steals everything of value from this piece... work on originality..... personalized style, original imagery.... welcome to the site... glad youre here, and keep writing!!
The "maybe"s are just annoying and unnecessary. Not much poetic about it. It says exacly what you feel and uses simple rhymes like had and sad. Try to be more original and present your thoughts in a with more consideration and though. This has no personality to it. Show us your style.
Submission Name: oh well
