Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Narna
    Elite Ratio:    1.74 - 14/102/69
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1137
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 480



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Faith numbs at the extremities;
    Limbs clutch the edifice;
    a stiff breeze.
    Breathe.
    Inhale; desperation.
    Respiration, please.

    Heaven meets the horizon, and
    refuses to shake hands.
    Hanging out for a promised land-
    slide; letting go.

    New beliefs weather old demands;
    erode the sands of time.
    Falling out of love, and
    in to the sublime
    truth.






    Submitted on 2016-07-23 16:56:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Soldered joints
    Weak at the knees.
    Topple my tree with the slightest breeze.
    They need just about all I can't give
    After panning me through their silver sieve.
    I don't pray much but I know when I'm alive
    I can't keep traditions 'cause I keep them all inside.
    You know just about all that I know
    When it comes to sorting out which way that I should go
    'Cause I...
    Shake Shake
    The wind blowing
    A storm still waiting back behind
    It's always over me
    Taking its toll

    This lyric is from the song Silver Sieve, by Snowmine. It was my #1 song of 2014. I couldn't help but think of it when reading your poem.

    I think you should drop "truth" down a line though so it stands on its own.
    | Posted on 2016-07-25 00:00:00 | by BlankSheet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201412

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry