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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Breaking Freedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Janesaddiction
    ASL Info:    48/F/Somewhere on A1A
    Elite Ratio:    1.99 - 8/24/17
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 983
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 452



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBreaking Freedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Earth as my bed and darkness my blanket
    fixed on his voice
    like metal to magnet

    Perfection envelops my being
    drowning with comfort, yet
    never long enough, always fleeting

    Stars tell a new story
    a road map in the sky
    to escape this purgatory

    Light breaks free and begins to dim
    eyes closed, my wish to be
    once again in the arms of him





    Submitted on 2016-08-10 14:05:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hi there! This is a lovely piece, and something not enough of us contemplate on, in my humble opinion (of course).

    There are a lot of ways to take what you have written - and maybe that is the intent of your poem. Or maybe, that's just me - it's early yet (and I haven't had my coffee). In any case, the poem made me think, a good thing.

    I did see one thing that you might want to change - totally your call: envelopes to envelops? I was thinking that "envelopes" is plural for those things that you use with a letter - whereas "envelops" is to surround? Perfection envelops - rather the Perfection envelopes? I could be wrong - again, it's early yet ;)

    Thank you for sharing!

    Take care,

    K
    | Posted on 2016-08-14 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]


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