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    dots Submission Name: The Silver Clouds of Tomorrow's Rain dots

    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 221
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 627
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1564


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    dotsThe Silver Clouds of Tomorrow's Rain dots

    It came in a cool breeze calling,
    lingering voices that haunt,
    described in many names;
    described no better than melancholy.

    An imminent hope of silver,
    a lining to clouds tossed in lightning,
    departed to battle the encroaching storm;
    departed to battle distant thunder.

    It punished glimpses of a blue sky,
    strangled opal blinks of moonlight,
    drowning panic of pink horizons;
    drowning panic in the black of the eye.

    An angelic kiss of ocean brine,
    gives restless hearts time to arrive,
    dark tides crash over starboard,
    dark times crash the shore ahead.

    It conquered men that sought to change the world,
    plenty tears have been shed,
    dreaming of a safe passage home;
    dreaming of resting laurels.

    An outcast in a tragedy,
    at a loss for words,
    draining rain that soaked the soul;
    draining icy embrace.

    It broke wood and steel with wrath of water,
    sinking beneath went all hope and future,
    desperation gave nothing but the great absolute;
    desperation told death to wait a while longer.

    An emptiness of a legacy benign,
    chasing wealth and happiness;
    delivering a child with no name to bear;
    delivering no ink to will.

    It remains through the sun,
    tracing rays of light in peaceful clouds,
    dying flesh cold from waiting hope;
    dying given all that could be gained.

    Submitted on 2016-08-22 23:37:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This poem took me from there - to there - and then again to there. Each line seemed to be it's own destination within the realm of the story that you're telling.

    Loved these lines...

    It punished glimpses of a blue sky,
    strangled opal blinks of moonlight,
    drowning panic of pink horizons;
    drowning panic in the black of the eye.

    It reminded me of...

    Red sky at night, sailors delight;
    red sky at morning, sailors take warning.

    The visuals that you created were breathtaking - and while there are many hints of sadness throughout this piece, I felt a sense of hope. Maybe that's just me.

    I did have a question as to your use of semi-colons, commas, and periods throughout this piece: how did you decide when and where to use each of them? Just curious...

    By the way, this poem goes straight to my favorites. My father owned a sailboat for many years - and this reminded me of the time spent with him sailing around various lakes (small and large). Good times!

    Thank you for sharing!

    | Posted on 2016-08-24 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]

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