Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Catharsis 💩dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chelebel
    Elite Ratio:    2.2 - 53/167/176
    Words: 208
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1421



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCatharsis 💩dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You bid farewell so easily.
    Like the flakiness
    Of the outer layer
    of an onion.


    In the middle,
    Poison for some, full of
    Flavor for others.

    Each inner layer the same
    Deeper and deeper
    The center, no change.

    Remove each layer
    To reveal the same
    The same
    Same poisonous
    Fumes.

    My eyes how they burn
    I can no longer see
    The tears taking over
    As it flushes me.

    Peel away your layers
    It's all the same.
    To me you are an onion
    Burning my eyes.
    Licking my lips as I cry
    Tasting that salt
    Gravity wants so bad.



    You walk away
    Shaking your head.


    How can sorrow be something
    You create when love is suppose
    To stregthen.
    You tore my head off
    Only to shit
    Inside my throat
    Your turd sits.


    Terd?


    There is always something
    To be unhappy about in your
    World of you as you steamroll about.

    (This is a shitty write.
    I'm sorry to you all
    Who read to this point.)





















    Submitted on 2016-08-24 01:47:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm...?

    This is odd. I give you credit for originality for sure. I have never thought of an onion as flaky though so I had a bit if difficulty moving on from there. Perhaps a different adjective would work better there? Just a thought. But, this was Certainly different...
    | Posted on 2016-09-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201450

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Incubus written by monad
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry