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    dots Submission Name: Oncedots

    Author: closetpoet
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 51/106/70
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 605
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 569


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    soft as satin

    laid upon

    the hearts of crooked men

    dreams bled into darkness


    hungry and unholy

    takes back into her bosom

    what was loaned out, long ago;

    forgetfulness begins


    bitter as the words

    lashed out

    exploiting surreptitious innocence;

    unforgiving to hushed pleas

    I was beautiful once

    Submitted on 2016-09-08 17:55:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this piece, it's simple yet very descriptive. I dunno about this word though: surreptitious. I think it breaks the simplicity of the poem and feels really out of place. I would replace that word with something else...
    | Posted on 2016-11-07 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      It's better to have been beautiful once than never. Though beauty is relatively shallow, it is not without effort to achieve.

    We see beauty everywhere and in nature. The piece uses nature as a destroyer of this, which I find interesting. Nature, or at least in the animal kingdom, favors beauty I believe and the piece got me thinking about that.
    | Posted on 2016-09-16 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]

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