Once by closetpoet

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Submission Name: Once dots

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Author:	closetpoet
Elite Ratio:	2.25 - 51/106/70
Words:	71

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	657
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	569

Description:

Once

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Sun

soft as satin

laid upon

the hearts of crooked men

dreams bled into darkness

Earth

hungry and unholy

takes back into her bosom

what was loaned out, long ago;

forgetfulness begins

Winds

bitter as the words

lashed out

exploiting surreptitious innocence;

unforgiving to hushed pleas

I was beautiful once

Submitted on 2016-09-08 17:55:50 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
I like this piece, it's simple yet very descriptive. I dunno about this word though: surreptitious. I think it breaks the simplicity of the poem and feels really out of place. I would replace that word with something else...
| Posted on 2016-11-07 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
It's better to have been beautiful once than never. Though beauty is relatively shallow, it is not without effort to achieve.

We see beauty everywhere and in nature. The piece uses nature as a destroyer of this, which I find interesting. Nature, or at least in the animal kingdom, favors beauty I believe and the piece got me thinking about that.
| Posted on 2016-09-16 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.