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    dots Submission Name: Two Worldsdots

    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 477
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1124


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    dotsTwo Worldsdots

    I am trapped between two worlds
    That of color
    And this...

    A world only consisting of various grays
    Sentenced to a life of grief and hardship
    Only ever seeking out the distrust this world has only ever offered to me
    Always exploring every oxymoron and back handed compliments life has stood for

    Yet, I have suddenly been able to experience a world that is not so drab and dreary
    Where I am able to breathe in the colors this new world has to offer
    Giving my body a new sense of life

    However, I am far too comfortable within this bitter colorless world
    Grown accustomed is an understatement

    More like thrived within these cruel conditions
    Waiting ... Expecting the other shoe to drop

    Adapted to living in constant fear
    My environment has condemned me to a life of grief with no parole
    My loss of loved ones has left me knowing that joy is only a moment without suffering

    I am trapped between two worlds
    That of color
    And this....

    Submitted on 2016-10-04 13:29:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I wish the structure had mirrored your topic. Had this been a textualized portrait rather than perhaps simple expression of what you have proposed i believe as far as poetry goes this would have been a lot stronger. I am no hater when it comes to laying out emotions via writing and so i am not mad about what you did give us, it did leave me wanting more, this idea of two worlds.
    | Posted on 2016-10-27 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know, this text is too plain, it reads too much like a description rather than a poem. You need to twist the words a bit more, to surprise the reader with something. With some work, you could make something out of this, even if it's just cleaning the format and making it more nice to read...
    | Posted on 2016-10-20 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

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