Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Latin King
    ASL Info:    31/M/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 104/232/145
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 282
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 619



    Description:
       Raining this morning.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Like small soldiers they fall hard on asphalt
    Deteriorate pavement no halt
    They move in a sequence and create molecules
    Sometimes to hurt us or help no subdue
    In Noah's time it flooded the world
    It turmoils in oceans with cyclones that swirl
    In my neighborhood it eroded murals
    In mountains water flows pure though
    In local villages harvest grows
    River banks, lakes, oceans, you don't know
    Where it might go
    Pavement stays slippery lives are lost
    California drought time to get it back
    At all cost
    RAIN




    Submitted on 2016-10-17 06:59:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't know what to say about the rhyming pattern. It might work in a freestyle but I don't think this works in a poem. Imo you either rhyme perfectly when you write a poem or don't rhyme at all...
    | Posted on 2016-10-20 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah that's what we need, incantations, spells, I'm considering performing a rain dance. This water rationing is getting old.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2016-10-17 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201514

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry