Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Latin King
    ASL Info:    31/M/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 104/232/145
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 299
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 619



    Description:
       Raining this morning.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Like small soldiers they fall hard on asphalt
    Deteriorate pavement no halt
    They move in a sequence and create molecules
    Sometimes to hurt us or help no subdue
    In Noah's time it flooded the world
    It turmoils in oceans with cyclones that swirl
    In my neighborhood it eroded murals
    In mountains water flows pure though
    In local villages harvest grows
    River banks, lakes, oceans, you don't know
    Where it might go
    Pavement stays slippery lives are lost
    California drought time to get it back
    At all cost
    RAIN




    Submitted on 2016-10-17 06:59:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't know what to say about the rhyming pattern. It might work in a freestyle but I don't think this works in a poem. Imo you either rhyme perfectly when you write a poem or don't rhyme at all...
    | Posted on 2016-10-20 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah that's what we need, incantations, spells, I'm considering performing a rain dance. This water rationing is getting old.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2016-10-17 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201514

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Records I written by Raphael
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry