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    dots Submission Name: Deserving of a good titledots

    Author: Chelebel
    Elite Ratio:    2.21 - 53/166/172
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 376
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1064

       My world does not know the definition of implausible.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeserving of a good titledots

    When time subsides
    and those stones float
    gracefully to the bottom of the sea,
    will the sand crash and rub against me?

    Smoothing and softening the edges
    that once cut and scorned those
    whom brushed against.
    Becoming salty
    and Cloudy
    like sea glass

    Will you know
    my heart is true
    and my eyes tried
    to unglue the desires
    hidden inside; all the years
    flown by. I protested you.

    You knew,
    You wished
    upon this star
    your intention
    So I would
    to you.

    It's been said before
    and will be said again,
    We are a feather,
    connected beyond
    the imaginable
    In a world of
    with our hearts
    being the cause.

    Submitted on 2016-10-18 02:28:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      As was mentioned by Paradox, the slow back and forth of this poem mimics the movement of the sea. In fact, the rhythm of this piece has a hypnotic quality about it. Whether planned this way or not...it works quite well.

    I did notice this line...

    "Its been said before"

    I believe you meant...

    "It's been said before"

    Nicely done and very enjoyable!

    | Posted on 2016-10-27 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem, it has a slow back and forth, like the movement of the sea which is alluded at all throughout the poem. I don't know about the ending though, I think you could have done a better job there. If you're looking for a title, you could use the first line, that works great I think...
    | Posted on 2016-10-20 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

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