Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ship Wreckeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Carosuel
    ASL Info:    26/F/Twirlwind
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 96/73/28
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 821
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 702



    Description:
       The first half to a duet. This half is me deciding to get a divorce, the second is me deciding not to. (I didn't get the divorce, we're doing better than we have in a long time actually.)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShip Wreckeddots
    -------------------------------------------



    Sweeping broadly, but impotently,
    I could hardly see it there then.
    Over the sea and shore and jagged rock,
    that prescient warning--
    dismissed as ramblings of bitter men.

    The sails tore like flesh from bone,
    the mast hung feeble and fractured,
    the crow's nest drifted away from me,
    and amidst the anxious sea, I was captured.

    An astral aria wove her watery fingers,
    through my hair and dragged me under.
    Flailing downward, kicking the flotsam asunder,
    through fathoms and leagues, as black as her soul.
    The intangible danger sat mute on my lips.
    Oh, my love, we deserved this




    Submitted on 2016-11-06 04:45:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your imagery is spot on. So this is why I have writer's block. My muse passed to you. <3
    | Posted on 2017-04-29 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the dark imagery in this. Some of my favorite paintings are of a sunset at sea. But I really liked these lines:"that prescient warning--dismissed as ramblings of bitter men." I dunno why but that stood out for me in this poem as the best part...
    | Posted on 2016-11-07 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201546

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    prison written by ShyOne
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry