Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ship Wreckeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Carosuel
    ASL Info:    26/F/Twirlwind
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 96/73/28
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 925
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 702



    Description:
       The first half to a duet. This half is me deciding to get a divorce, the second is me deciding not to. (I didn't get the divorce, we're doing better than we have in a long time actually.)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShip Wreckeddots
    -------------------------------------------



    Sweeping broadly, but impotently,
    I could hardly see it there then.
    Over the sea and shore and jagged rock,
    that prescient warning--
    dismissed as ramblings of bitter men.

    The sails tore like flesh from bone,
    the mast hung feeble and fractured,
    the crow's nest drifted away from me,
    and amidst the anxious sea, I was captured.

    An astral aria wove her watery fingers,
    through my hair and dragged me under.
    Flailing downward, kicking the flotsam asunder,
    through fathoms and leagues, as black as her soul.
    The intangible danger sat mute on my lips.
    Oh, my love, we deserved this




    Submitted on 2016-11-06 04:45:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your imagery is spot on. So this is why I have writer's block. My muse passed to you. <3
    | Posted on 2017-04-29 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the dark imagery in this. Some of my favorite paintings are of a sunset at sea. But I really liked these lines:"that prescient warning--dismissed as ramblings of bitter men." I dunno why but that stood out for me in this poem as the best part...
    | Posted on 2016-11-07 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201546

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Carry written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    prison written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry