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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love Deferred dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.12 - 366/360/153
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 474
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 371



    Description:
       another before bed


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Deferred dots
    -------------------------------------------



    Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be this way-

    The dragonfly adrift
    The face of the pond

    Its wings no longer thrashing
    Incandescent-

    The captured sun-
    Set
    In each chamber

    Hallowed and sacred-

    DiCicco Cosentino




    Submitted on 2016-11-17 23:07:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Have you considered a line break in the first line for the sake of nuance?

    perhaps it wasn't mean to be/this way

    And then you could combine the broken lines at the center of the poem: "set in each chamber" to suggest that you and your love are housed in separate cells.

    Just some thoughts on yours.
    | Posted on 2016-11-18 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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