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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: All for you, My Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 366/359/149
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 469
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 781



    Description:
       another before bed


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAll for you, My Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Evening settles- a
    Kimono of magenta Skies
    Slipping past the turquoise stars


    Each breathe
    The lullaby of a thousand cherubim
    Each nuance rising like the dandelion

    All for you, my love
    All for
                        Y
                             .o
                                  u

    DiCicco Cosentino




    Submitted on 2016-11-18 00:17:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Evening settles- a
    Kimono of magenta Skies
    Slipping (past) the turquoise stars


    Each breathe
    (The) lullaby of (a) thousand cherubim
    Each nuance rising like the dandelion

    All for you, my love
    All for
    Y
    .o
    u


    Just a few little things that I noticed in the text. This feels as if it was hurriedly written, like a sketch. I prefer the first part to the second probably because I can't quite make the connection between a cherub and a dandelion.
    | Posted on 2016-11-18 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    201566

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