Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: All for you, My Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.08 - 366/364/154
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 578
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 781



    Description:
       another before bed


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAll for you, My Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Evening settles- a
    Kimono of magenta Skies
    Slipping past the turquoise stars


    Each breathe
    The lullaby of a thousand cherubim
    Each nuance rising like the dandelion

    All for you, my love
    All for
                        Y
                             .o
                                  u

    DiCicco Cosentino




    Submitted on 2016-11-18 00:17:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Evening settles- a
    Kimono of magenta Skies
    Slipping (past) the turquoise stars


    Each breathe
    (The) lullaby of (a) thousand cherubim
    Each nuance rising like the dandelion

    All for you, my love
    All for
    Y
    .o
    u


    Just a few little things that I noticed in the text. This feels as if it was hurriedly written, like a sketch. I prefer the first part to the second probably because I can't quite make the connection between a cherub and a dandelion.
    | Posted on 2016-11-18 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201566

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Giving written by jjd
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Incubus written by monad
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Bond written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry