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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Orbit dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chelebel
    Elite Ratio:    1.98 - 45/154/167
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 351
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 903



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOrbit dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Suppose life
    is coupled with
    infinite journeys and
    alternate realities that we
    travel to frequently. Where in one
    world we are a nobody, a loner, an
    "independent" wanderer
    found to be bland
    somewhat snobbish
    for truly being shy.



    Then, in the other world,
    you are equally a nobody
    who everybody knows as a
    somebody, but is still the popular
    nobody everybody knows. Now, once
    those two worlds collide, you are left with
    that exact same feeling no matter who you
    are and how independently dependent you are.


    Multiple realities and infinite journey's,
    the soul is steadfast in its thrive to survive.
    Its need to be. Like the sea needs the moon,
    you are the sun we all revolve around.




    Submitted on 2016-11-20 23:20:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This kind of reminds me of this Election season. lol

    As for the piece, I love the concept and if I could offer any advice, it would be to show rater than tell. Use a bit more metaphors to drive home the piece. Show us with images what you're trying to paint for us, not just words. If that makes sense.

    It's an interesting piece. One I look forward to reading when and if you add a couple metaphors or similes.


    JP
    | Posted on 2016-11-21 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]


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