Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

I Found You In...(working title)

Author: rev.jpfadeproof
ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
Elite Ratio:    6.05 - 368 /366 /172
Words: 378
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 2627
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2318


Needs work...format ruined by length of line

I Found You In...(working title)

I can’t help but think that my venture of words is like the distant light of evening
That pulsed from the stars eons ago and now sets in the eyes of lovers

Perhaps perishing is that aspect of affection
Needed to move love forward- it’s that which taught the “star-crossed” lovers
That the glint that brightens the face has thrashed long ago- that
Its host is now cold as the space it bobs in by the time it orbits the iris-

It’s that radiance that brought us together-
And it’s that radiance that lifts the blue curtain of day so that I may find                you

Again and again- you arrive in everything and everything carries me to you-

In the beige of trees I see your knees knelt before the ailing child and laugh
My little Yaso Yanking
The giggles from their tiny throats like morning pulls the song from the sparrow

I found you in the acre of lavender that proudly raises its amethyst arms in revolution-
I will harvest your violet tresses
That break over the crag of your shoulder like waves of the sea

I see you in the red stones that drip with the blood of the bison
That unravels in rain-dances and chants and truth–
I hear you in the silver wolf and golden hawk-

I look at the freckled evening flecked with stars and see your freckled face smiling
The pearlescent moon has set in your teeth that bear heavy in my body

Your breasts are pinecones that I gather in my hands and bring to mouth to seed
They flourish in me like forests, my body expanding to extol all of you: your

Purple plume of hair- your toes that carry you to me- your fingers that hold me there
Your hands collect me in pieces; your body leaves me whole-
Your eyes are lighthouses that guide my ship to your shore and dispel the storm-

I found you in the wilderness;
All of you to admire -all of you to discover- all of your to explore

dicicco cosentino ©

Submitted on 2016-12-12 03:18:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This reminds me of a modern day song of Solomon as the intimacy and romance can be the literal physical relationship between man and woman as you delightfully personify these natural elements. Then again the magnitude of your words in imagery and their context speaks to me of something higher.

Either way or both, this is mesmerizing, the language of love intertwined in your ability to paint your landscape, the environment of this tale, raise this piece up into a most esteemed position on this site and amongst many things I have read. I very much enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing.
| Posted on 2016-12-14 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?