Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Light in this Roomdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.34 - 1751/1511/479
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 511
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 978



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Light in this Roomdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am awake on this beautiful morning
    Heart outstretched to heavens most intimate kiss
    What can I say about this
    You adore me

    My every breath in awe of life's most perfect majesty

    I have never felt so safe or certain, surely serenity has saturated herself into eternity

    What can compare to the face of the one I love?
    More than diamonds and all the facets of this beautiful place I call home,
    Your eyes
    In my minds eyes
    I dwell in you as you dwell in me

    Oh to be overwhelmed with worship
    And to anyone what has changed about today
    But that I hear your voice and the presence of the one true God has revealed itself

    The lights haven't changed except they are the brilliant light of you
    Sentient
    Graceful
    Hands and arms wrapped around me
    Body bent over and exposing intimately
    A magnificent union




    Submitted on 2016-12-28 11:27:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have never liked writes depicting sex or love making, come to that. I liked yours though you made it sound sweet and intense at the same time. The writing I mean .... I enjoyed your wording. it is powerful. I particularly liked lines such as:

    " My every breath in awe of life's most perfect majesty"

    "I have never felt so safe or certain, surely serenity has saturated herself into eternity"

    I loved the first I think it is my favourite. The second is great too but I would have invented it just to make it even stronger that it is ... maybe something like:

    " have I never felt so safe or certain, surely serenity has saturated herself into eternity"

    It was fun to read this,
    kind regards,

    Ethan Brody
    | Posted on 2017-03-01 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
      So pretty. Your spiritual poetry is much better than mine ever was. You make it sound like you're in a romance with God, and it's the best thing ever. And that is lovely.
    | Posted on 2017-01-21 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201620

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Ecstasy at My Place written by yesmole
    So What? written by bentnotbroken
    Gods and Monsters written by TheJadedCritic
    Synergy written by monad
    Proactive written by SincerWritinAsh
    Lascivious Desires written by Jonathan Ryner
    Twisted written by eggshells
    Ash written by MysterydarkPoet
    Sad Season written by helenastorm13
    The Human Stain written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Something Like Love and Heartbreak written by JanePlane
    For the heart's soothing written by Jonathan Ryner
    Time after Time written by poetotoe
    Contact written by KeeperOfLight
    Scientia Poetica written by Paradox
    Out of Darkness - Prologue written by PryncessVynom
    Untitled written by jackz
    The Price written by Janesaddiction
    Take Flight written by Chelebel
    Tribute written by expiring_touch
    Superstar written by Crestfallenman
    Mercy written by jackz
    Holding Hands written by yesmole
    Poseidon written by yesmole
    God’s Easter Gift written by poetotoe
    Silver written by Blue7
    Nowdays written by concrete_rose
    As she lay sleeping written by Jonathan Ryner
    Send Me written by gwenn sundala
    To the Voice of Antebellum written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry