Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: If I Faildots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hybridsongwrite
    ASL Info:    20 / M / MN, USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 185/164/70
    Words: 416
    Class/Type: Lyrics/The pain inside
    Total Views: 2047
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2417



    Description:
       Symbolic about the purposeful detachment from empathy and emotion in order to not care anymore


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf I Faildots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life has it’s hand to my throat, squeezing, pushing as I turn blue
    Back against the wall, if I fall, it wouldn’t be surprising with what I’ve been through
    I smile and spit in her face as she releases me from her grip
    I fall to one knee, look to the ground, and see a gun and a clip
    It seems like a way out, or at least that’s the way that it seems
    But who really wins in the end when the pawns and the players switch teams?
    Fear sets into her eyes and she thinks back to everything she said
    But much to her surprise I put the gun up to my own head

    If I fail, If I fail
    I’m taking everybody down with me
    If I fail…
    I still win!
    2X

    She lied to me with words that pierced me like a dagger
    Each line adding onto the burden that has fed into my anger
    Not a friend, not something more, never anything she had ever claimed
    Just another incident of a “who is he?”, “oh, it’s what’s-his-name”
    And she stood there silently as he manipulated and violated her trust
    Complicit in her lack of action as if it shouldn’t mean anything to us
    And the sense of loss of losing someone so close after so much time
    The easy way out is to leave it all behind

    If I fail, If I fail
    I’m taking everybody down with me
    If I fail…
    I still win!
    2X

    /bridge/
    I can’t take the pressure, it’s eating at me
    I can’t sleep, I can’t breathe, I can’t find a release
    /solo/

    If I pull the trigger I leave the pain for a bit of release
    I’ve had the weight of a life on my hands for a decade at least
    How will you handle losing someone, knowing you’re the reason why?
    How will you handle the demons that will keep you up at night
    When you contemplate and analyze things you can’t understand
    Hoping for some release you feel for the blood that’s on your hands
    If I kill this human side of me and leave a hollow shell
    How will you ever life with yourself?

    If I fail, If I fail
    I’m taking everybody down with me
    If I fail…
    I still win!
    4X

    If I kill this human side of me and leave behind a hollow shell
    You had better learn to pray for forgiveness




    Submitted on 2016-12-29 11:44:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      DAMMM this is deep! I loved it. ALL of it. Is this a song you wrote??!!
    | Posted on 2017-01-20 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201621

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    5/29/2019 written by nolram
    Cannot Assimilate written by Daniel Barlow
    Forgetting You written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Merge written by saartha
    motivations, eclectic. written by Daniel Barlow
    Exult written by saartha
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    Within a structure written by Daniel Barlow
    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    'Cause You're Mine, I Walk the Line. written by Torie
    Lying Acceptance written by ForgottenGraves
    Still written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Yearn written by saartha
    Global Death Do Incite written by MyPeriodical
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Moon and Me written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Blank Page written by Chelebel
    being direct, it's written by Daniel Barlow
    Dreamt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Luchinushka written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Would You... written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer of Peaches written by rev.jpfadeproof
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Collision written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hurt written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry