My life is that of shattered glass, or that of a deer in headlights
Attempting to explain the turmoil I quarrel with to you,
I would be better off suddenly speaking a foreign language…
Than to actually attempt to reveal the true nature of this inferno that thrives from within.
My days are long but my nights are always longer,
No amount of medication can truly take away the darkness I have been plagued with.
The distain I carry for myself
For all my failures
For the escape goat I allowed myself to become
For the addict I am
Cant you see!?
No amount of words, description, or clarity will ever be enough for you to understand.
And Yes, it is such a hindrance when it comes to personal relationships.
Yet, who am I if not that little girl?
Who am I if not that addict
Who am I if not my mothers personal escape goat?
Ohhh…. You see?
Just the tip of the iceberg that is of this internal personal game of tug-a-war I play….
Current Personal Relationship VS Current Sense of Self
That sense of self I have had since I could remember…. It is all I know.