Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ...Waves of Unwitting Consciousnessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ethan Brody
    ASL Info:    35 - M - Chile
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 440/205/78
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 679
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 495



    Description:
       I haven't been here much lately not that I haven't written anything .... just that for some reason I did not seem to come up with something worth to post here, which doesn't mean that this is the epitome of perfection .....

    Any comments are welcomed

    Ethan Brody :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots...Waves of Unwitting Consciousnessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Unflappable Volcanic Waves of Unwitting Consciousness
    (Full Original title)

    By Ethan Brody

    If only fireworks were noiseless
    If only ripples controlled,
    If only earthquakes predicted,
    Or even dreams recollected,
    If only swarms were channelled,
    If only God had a face,
    If only NOW was the matter,
    Then loony bins could cease to be.




    Submitted on 2017-01-12 00:12:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "If only NOW was the matter"

    This line and the one before it really made me think.

    I like the idea of how disturbing it it can be for God to be without any real form of representation.

    I also can relate to the idea of looking at the now. Being in the present. . . and how sometimes that doesn't matter. When tragedy has struck my life I have noted the irony of the sun still shining or the feel of a soft breeze, and how those things are nothing when you are brought to your knees with sorrow and pain. Also, how nothing from NOW can fix the past that burdens us so.

    This was tricky. Phil wanted less "If only"s but I almost want more! And maybe have them trail off at the end

    if only
    if only
    if only . . .

    Just some ideas.
    | Posted on 2017-03-02 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      And what fun would that be. The title is the best part of this piece.
    | Posted on 2017-03-02 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      As modern man has evolved, to the emotional emptiness of faceless communication, and the search for the greatest entertainment thrill, each "Bang" must get bigger, each tragedy must be more devastating, each dream more far-reaching, and therein all gods become more faceless.
    Is it any wonder that the disturbed among us grow in numbers and strangeness?

    Perhaps your wave of consciousness is just a product of today's
    unflappable texting, tweetering, social media barrage.

    Maybe I've said enough and should, now let you know that I enjoyed this because it made me think. What more could a writer want?

    A few too many "If only"s, but you can fix that.
    | Posted on 2017-01-12 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201631

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry