i love how you're always pushing the envelope with your writing.. you're constantly exploring new ideas and concepts and techniques which i really admire cause it's so easy to get stuck in the comfortable rut of a style that you know you're good at.
(my only criticism would be that the parentheses in the second stanza don't seem to serve any purpose..? i dont know..)
the whole punctuation spelled out is very interesting.. and the last 3 lines are pure genius.
Ugh, sorry to bombard you with messages, but I meant the one before the i (in 'i'm). Sorry, I think you misunderstood my comment, and I misunderstood yours.
Ok, maybe you were quoting the I, but I still think it's weird. The rest made sense, but that didn't. Sorry, I just got back from spending a month in your fine country, and I'm ill and knackered.
Well, if it's not an apostrophe, then it's a single quotation mark and you need another one after carpet. Sorry, I'm an English tutor, and I just don't see the point of punctuation for decoration. I rarely punctuate my poetry because it adds a layer of ambuity and forces the reader to fill it in.
well i'll say it's poetry...and it's cool, I think you write originally...it's both tongue in cheek and tongue stuck out...hmm..i'm tired but that made sense to me... the ending, the "s" sounds is cool.
Hum, I like this, although "she drained scarlet" is very morbid. I like the end, but you have an unnessecary apostrophe in before "i'm" in "'i'm sorry's/staining the carpet."
i think this could be an awesome poem. it is already, really. the thought of her lying in a bed of roses, the vines entwining her like a lover, but then always there are thorns... a love gone bad? a love too possessive? a love that chokes her so she has to go and says "i'm sorry..."? lose the (comma) and (full stop) and write it out. it works for me! the last three lines rock! you could expand on that. well done!
Submission Name: this is poetry?
well done!