Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: my shadow
Elite Ratio:    4.84 - 296 /150 /48
Words: 137
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1448
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 871




In the mirror I see many masks
I have gathered to me
but never my true face,
That is for others to see

Spring is long passed
Summer is also gone
Autumn fades from thought
Winter is a cold song

Things of my life seem small,
meaning nothing,
not remembered,
when winter has passed

I think of a Roman marker
proclaiming a woman who lived freely
died young, just a memory on stone
Yet, somehow I know her

Two thousand years from now
will someone read my eulogy stone
or stored electrons
and wonder that he lived freely

Or will that epitaph, if it still is,
say he lived with many masks
He didn't know his true face,
It was for others to see

Submitted on 2017-01-27 00:12:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I liked this, it seems neat and it flows well.

The problem with one's face is that when we are in a bad frame of mind or in a dark place in our lives the image gets distorted. It used to happen a lot to me not so long ago. It used to drive me insane seeing someone that wasn't me. Luckily, I have grown fonder of me so whatever the mirror shows now I'm likely to embrace it. Needless, to say the image doesn't change much as it used to nowadays.

I do disagree with one of your statements/lines when you mention that the real you or your real face can only be seen by others. It kind of leads me to believe that one's doomed to function by other's standards or whatever they think about oneself.

I strongly believe that one should be one's best friend and what we think about ourselves should be of the utmost importance. People, will always think or say things about us but they must not affect the perception that we have built along the way. It's nearly impossible yet suffocating to try to control what they think so why should we? I certainly don't .... anymore.

I don't know if this makes any sense to you. Maybe, I completely missed the point of it.

As for critiques, I would add some question marks to the last to stanzas. Reading the piece without them seems slightly confusing and misleading.

Kind regards,

Ethan Brody
| Posted on 2017-03-05 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
  Some might argue that the poet is freer to express truth while protected behind a veil or mask. Think of how many authors have chosen to write with pseudonyms. Maybe allow yourself the freedom of expression that comes from anonymity.

Interesting write.

| Posted on 2017-02-14 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?