Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Facedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: my shadow
    Elite Ratio:    4.82 - 291/150/48
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 405
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 871



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Facedots
    -------------------------------------------


    My Face

    In the mirror I see many masks
    I have gathered to me
    but never my true face,
    That is for others to see

    Spring is long passed
    Summer is also gone
    Autumn fades from thought
    Winter is a cold song

    Things of my life seem small,
    meaning nothing,
    not remembered,
    when winter has passed

    I think of a Roman marker
    proclaiming a woman who lived freely
    died young, just a memory on stone
    Yet, somehow I know her

    Two thousand years from now
    will someone read my eulogy stone
    or stored electrons
    and wonder that he lived freely

    Or will that epitaph, if it still is,
    say he lived with many masks
    He didn't know his true face,
    It was for others to see




    Submitted on 2017-01-27 00:12:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this, it seems neat and it flows well.

    The problem with one's face is that when we are in a bad frame of mind or in a dark place in our lives the image gets distorted. It used to happen a lot to me not so long ago. It used to drive me insane seeing someone that wasn't me. Luckily, I have grown fonder of me so whatever the mirror shows now I'm likely to embrace it. Needless, to say the image doesn't change much as it used to nowadays.

    I do disagree with one of your statements/lines when you mention that the real you or your real face can only be seen by others. It kind of leads me to believe that one's doomed to function by other's standards or whatever they think about oneself.

    I strongly believe that one should be one's best friend and what we think about ourselves should be of the utmost importance. People, will always think or say things about us but they must not affect the perception that we have built along the way. It's nearly impossible yet suffocating to try to control what they think so why should we? I certainly don't .... anymore.


    I don't know if this makes any sense to you. Maybe, I completely missed the point of it.

    As for critiques, I would add some question marks to the last to stanzas. Reading the piece without them seems slightly confusing and misleading.

    Kind regards,


    Ethan Brody
    | Posted on 2017-03-05 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
      Some might argue that the poet is freer to express truth while protected behind a veil or mask. Think of how many authors have chosen to write with pseudonyms. Maybe allow yourself the freedom of expression that comes from anonymity.

    Interesting write.

    -Jane
    | Posted on 2017-02-14 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201654

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry